Day 757. You have to do something! (Panna Napsugár)
I conceived my second child a bit earlier than planned, but we accepted that she would like to come. During my pregnancy I constantly felt tired, sleepy and I was worried how I could give birth and take care of a baby while being so exhausted. Apart from that, all my test results were normal and we were planning to have a home birth again.
On the big day, after months of worrying I was yelling in euphoria that I did it! You are born! I could not believe that you are in my arms and we did it. We both, together.
The anxiety of the last week was gone and I calmed down by the day. I was enjoying the company of Benedek (my son) and the great weather. Wednesday morning we woke up with Zoli (my husband) after a good sleep, we also watched a movie last night. Just after getting up from bed my contractions started and I felt that these are different this time. They were not simple hardenings of my belly, they radiated into my sacrum. We had breakfast and Zoli took us to the playground – walking is good at this stage –, I did not want to stay home if the contractions are still irregular and can even stop (Inside I felt that this is it, but I didn’t dare to believe it for a couple of hours just to avoid disappointment like two weeks ago).
Zoli left for Mora therapy, which is an hour – but I quickly texted him not to go to work afterwards, he should pick us up instead. Benedek enjoyed the early hour at the playground, which was not crowded yet, tried everything, run around and ride his little motorcycle. I also enjoyed being there and endured the contractions that were three minutes apart, but still not regular.
Zoli picked us up and we called Ági, who told us to check in every hour and promised to call Éva. We also called Jucus, she might have to come for Benedek. We arrived home and ate lunch. I called Jucus again, now I was sure she must come. We prepared everything, I cleaned the strawberries – those I wanted to save for the time after birth.
At 1 p.m., Ági and Éva arrived to examine me; I was 2-3 cm dialated, still felt good, not loosing my strengh. They had to leave and we started watching a movie, the one we did not finish last night. Watching romantic movies during birth was working for us once, we though. And it did again. I was eating melon and Túró Rudi (Hungarian cottage cheese rolls in chocolate)
Ági and Éva came back around half past three and that was the point when the real labour started for me, the point when I needed their help and started loosing my strenght. During contractions I received compressions and massages; I was labouring standing up and holding the kitchen worktop. I sat down when I needed rest, Ági and Éva encouraged me constantly by telling me I am doing fine, it is not much left. After the birth of Benedek, I told them that they were not talking too much to me, so maybe that’s why I got so much encouragement. Sometimes it was really helpful, sometimes I was thinking, if there is not much left when will it be finally over? I did not register the time passing, only the lessening of my strenght, which was really fast comparing to my first childbirth.
I could not stand any more so I kneeled down next to the couch, Zoli was holding my head, but it was not comfortable. Then he sat on a chair, it was better for a while, but I could not really relax in the kneeling position. Then he crouched down and I was clinging on the chair – he tried to hold it still, I was pulling and pushing it. One thought kept me going, that this is the worst part, the pushing wont hurt – at least that was my experience at the birth of Benedek. During a calm moment I looked out the window and saw sunset – I really liked it, it was good to look at it in the breaks, on the other hand I was surprised that the Sun is just setting now, I thought it is much later already. I encouraged you as well: “Come on baby!”.
Nothing happened – at least in my head – just very intensive and painful contractions following each other. When will it end? And I burst out: “Do something!” And the calm answer from Ági put me off and gave me new strenght: “You have to do something.” Then I started walking towards the bathtub, it was somehow self-evident that I have to go there.
I kneeled in the tub, Zoli showered my belly with warm water and I immediately felt the pushing phase is coming. I even yelled “the baby is coming”, because I could not see my helpers. Things sped up, Ági and Éva came in, they held the perineum’s front and back and your head just appeared.
Ági just realized that the umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck twice and your head was purple. I did not see that just heard Ági telling me: “you have to push now, give all your strength to her!” I pushed as strong as I could and felt that she is pulling you from behind, which was quite painful but lasted only for a moment.
And you were out. I looked behind me and saw you lying swooned on Éva’s leg and Ági sucking out (cleaning) your nose/mouth. And you started crying. To be honest, the possibility that something might be wrong with you did not reach my mind, I just felt a huge relief and wanted to hold you. I laid down in the tub and they put you on my belly.
You were smeary, wrinkled and purple, but I was so happy to see you! You were whimpering and we encouraged you to really cry loudly which would let you properly breath through your lungs. I was only thinking how impossible it is that you are here and we did it. And that we still don’t know whether we should name you Panna or Napsugár.
In the meantime you got a hat and they were pouring warm water onto your back so you are not cold – but Zoli was also admiring you and the warm water sometimes stopped pouring for a moment, you must have been a bit cold. We moved to the couch, were you started nursing and I was still amazed that you were born, and only in three hours and I had strength and reserved energy for that and everything went smoothly. After all that worry it seemed to be an unbelievable present. I am immensely thankful that both of you were born at home.
I realized two days later, why we could not decide between the two names. (We named you Panna Napsugár in the end.) – Zoli checked the placenta after the birth and saw that we would have had twins… Somehow one name was self-evident for Benedek, for you these two. And it was not a coincidence that at the beginning of this pregnancy we talked about the possibility of having twins, even though the chances were really small – the topic did not even come up with Benedek.
It is a huge happiness to look at you, at these two miracles that have chosen us. I am filled with gratitude and love, these feeling are sometimes overflowing…
Ági had a sentence during both of my births which helped me overcome pain, which gave me back my faith that I can do it. God bless you for that!
Benedek > > >
Véletlenül kiválasztott mesék.
This post is also available in: Hungarian