True stories about birth and giving birth

Day 1084. Fought like a hero (Levente’s birth)

Posted on 2013. Sep. 23.

It was long ago but true as the evidence is here until today in whole and healthy.

Levente is our first child, an unexpectedly arrived baby, knocking just at the end of the college years, causing quite a big surprise for his parents and future grandparents. With his coming he brought plenty of new possibilities and experience to our lives, so we became familiar with the home birth through him, too. As every hospital and doctor evoked strong revulsion in me, hearing about home birth, we felt we had found the way how we would like to give birth to our baby. We got to know Ágnes Geréb in Éden Birthing House and that meeting decided everything: we both felt trust and certainty: that’s what we were looking for, we belong here.

As the appointed time of giving birth was getting closer the stress was increasing in me: I felt I had to face with something unknown, a so far never experienced thing. Because of an inner resistance I didn’t want to read professional books about giving birth, our friends didn’t have children, the Internet wasn’t common for me yet, so I only heard about much older women’s births, not a really uplifting experience. Of course we had watched films about home births in the Birthing House, there were good conversations but everything seemed so far and strange, the process of giving birth and everything that was coming afterwards was so unimaginable for me: a new life.

In those winter days there were huge snow falls, so the entire world – at least our place of living – hid in snow and silence. The pain started at dawn so we alerted the grandparents to leave flat where we were living together – as discussed earlier – and told Ágis to come, the time had come!

After Ágis’ arrival I turned to a completely different state: the space and time stood still, I can’t remember hardly anything. Though I can remember for that the travail was also very painful, I wanted it to be over so I pushed strongly which obviously wasn’t too good for the poor baby but I felt that this pain must be the pushing out already.

Unfortunately it wasn’t, I was dilating very slowly, I was struggling and also the baby was trying to get through the gates after each other heroically. Ágis helped me, there were compresses which were very pleasant, I got pellets, but for some reason it went very difficult. For example I remember that I couldn’t change my position: I was trying to move stuck in the same pose, I couldn’t change, I might have felt that if I had taken root, the baby would come to life easier.

BUT! Around noon Ági told me if I could not dilate quicker we would have to go to the hospital because there was very big snow and she didn’t want to risk the roads. Even today it’s a shrill moment: there and then I remembered that in the information week there had been a birth story like this, when Ági says it the birth begins so you don’t have to go to the hospital. So I was trying hard too, it can’t be that I have to go to the hospital.

Though I had to…

Of course we hadn’t got anything ready, we didn’t have anything for the hospital: we quickly grabbed this and that and we left for the hospital before the scared eyes of our neighbour, caused by Ági’s emergency signal – flashing or siren? – car. My boyfriend, not husband then yet, was driving, Ági was sitting with me in the back, listening to the heartbeats continually. It was horrible, I had pain everywhere, I was afraid but I didn’t think for a minute that it wouldn’t succeed. Of course we crashed, a bit shouting with the driver of the other car, no kidding and shouting right now, can’t you see we are giving birth now?

Finally we got into the hospital, Ágis weren’t allowed to go in. The welcome wasn’t too warm but there wasn’t too much time for talking: episiotomy, rupturing the membranes and the baby was coming straight. Of course they didn’t want to let the kid’s father in but I held his hand and told them that I wouldn’t give birth without him. The pushing out was difficult as well, they were pushing him out with the elbow – but at least I felt that he would be here soon and that’s all.

And really: he got through the last tight gate and he was there with his whole, a bit purple being, our son for whom we hadn’t even found a proper name yet. But as he was fighting as a hero we called him Levente right there suddenly.

The rest was only a matter of steadiness: calm Ágis, give birth for the placenta: unfortunately it came out in pieces so I had some unpleasant torture left. Talking to the doctor about the irresponsible people giving birth at home – of course with me on the birthing bed full of blood. The truth is that both the midwife and the doctor conducting the birth were kind in their ways. Getting the baby back from the incubator. (“Mother, go, lie down, have some rest!” “I won’t go until you give me the baby!” Then I did.) Then spending a night with the baby sleeping on my breast: finally I was “allowed” to sleep with the baby, by then I wouldn’t have let him for God heaven. In the morning, talking to the doctor again how irresponsible we are that we don’t even wait for 24 hours after giving birth.

But it didn’t matter anymore, I knew my task: we jolted home in the “small polski” – it was jerking quite badly – and at home jumped into the bed. We really had to have some rest but all of us got used to the new roles and way of life quickly which have been changing since then, demanding change and newer movements-moves from us all the time.

R. R.

Véletlenül kiválasztott mesék.

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