True stories about birth and giving birth

Day 1158. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t want it like this (Bogyo’s arrival)

Posted on 2013. Dec. 6.

I stopped working one month before my due date. I was really looking forward this period to be able to concentrate on myself and my baby and to prepare for the birth. Few days later my mucus plug came out. I was in panic. I wasn’t afraid of the birth, I was worried that my mum won’t be with me. My relationship with my partner at the time got really bad by the end of my pregnancy and I was living in a foreign country with no relatives. I wanted to give birth in a Birth Center, there were sometimes two midwives for four women. I knew that my partner won’t fully support me so I wanted my mum to be with me. There were two more weeks until her arrival. In the next two weeks I rested a lot and talked to my son all the time and asked him to wait for Granny. Finally the arrival date came. We went for a big walk almost straight away as I haven’t left the flat for two weeks. The weather was beautiful hence the fact it was middle of autumn. I relaxed, won’t be alone at the birth.

When I woke up the next morning before sun rise I realized that I’m all wet and the bed as well. I knew straight away that it is the amniotic fluid. I washed myself, put towels under me and waited. I didn’t want to wake anyone yet, “just when the labour starts” I thought, but nothing happened.

Soon everyone woke up and I could tell that it started. I began to feel light contractions. It felt like period pain. I called the Birth Centre which was about an hour and a half drive away. They told me to call them hourly but not to go until the contractions are about five minutes apart. It scared me a little bit and I imagined giving birth in the cab.

The morning was very pleasant, the amniotic fluid was leaking but the pain wasn’t bad at all. I could eat lunch as well. Mum brought me my favorite from Hungary Hortobagyi’s pancake. This was the last meal I ate in the next 36 hours. After lunch I could even sleep a little bit. In the afternoon the contractions got stronger and I had them more often. Around three o’clock we left to the Birth Centre. The cab driver stopped for petrol and some shopping on the way.

We arrived and got a cold reception from an unfriendly midwife who wanted to send me home straight after she examined me. I told her I can’t spend three hours in a car driving back and forward so she let us stay and luckily 15 minutes later her shift finished . Her college was a wonderful midwife who did everything she could to make me feel better. I spent 24 hours in the Centre, which I don’t really remember. I just suddenly realized between two contractions that my mum and my partner were sleeping on the chairs next to my bed. I lost time.

It was afternoon again and I had to make a decision. Go to the hospital or stay at my own risk. My water broke 36 hours ago, was almost 8 cm dilated but the contractions got further apart and less strong. I didn’t have any desire to push. I had no energy, I couldn’t even think. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink for more than a day. I made a decision to go to hospital. The midwife who “had two babies” during this time and her shift finished, came with me to the hospital and stayed until I had all my check ups.

I got an epidural, oxytocin and catheter. I was put on a monitor. Tubes were running in and out of me, a lot of thing was beeping and the room was very bright. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t want it like this. I give up and give in. Everyone was tired and nerves. The father of my child made a scene and threatened the staff, accusing them of harming his son by not doing anything.

The contractions stopped, staff in white coats were running around me and couldn’t keep track of the number of people who looked under my sheet and examined me internally. Nothing happened for hours so the doctor decided to cut me. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t want it like this but I had no energy to protest and didn’t want to protest anymore. I just wanted all this to end and be able to hold my son.

Theatre, cut, take out and stitch. For a moment they showed me my son but I couldn’t see anything as he was so wrapped up. By the time I was ready my mum was holding Botond, she gave him to me and I could breastfeed straight away. My friend arrived, she was worried about us for almost two days like my family from the distance.

The first night we spent on an observation ward where the newborns were crying and the mothers were moaning and sighting. Botond just slept peacefully and I admired him. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t want it like this but here was this beautiful child who was healthy and this is the only thing that matters.

Three days later we were at home and I thought I’m in the clouds as I became a mother but everytime someone asked me about the birth I started to cry.

Now I know how it feels to be in the clouds and happily talk about labour and birth. Now I know what uninterrupted birth means and how it feels to be wrapped up in love while giving birth. Now I know but I didn’t know then.

G. H.

Véletlenül kiválasztott mesék.

This post is also available in: Hungarian