True stories about birth and giving birth

Day 674. I left on my responsibility

Posted on 2012. Aug. 9.

Our second child, Virág was born only one and a half year after the first baby. This was short enough time to remember everything. I chose a woman to be my doctor, because I was hoping she understands more of another women’s needs. It was true in some ways, but the routine usually followed in Hungary during childbirth, was all the same. Since I did not know anyone more flexible, more open for natural birth, I stayed with the same doctor. I had no idea of natural birth, I just knew

I want something different. Yet everything stayed the same, the doctor, and the place as well, so the only difference was, that the whole terrible process was not unknown. Knowing what follows I dared to refuse the irruption, and managed to avoid compulsory infusion as well. I did not rush to hospital, I was trying to arrive as late as possible, but I could not avoid being examined by the doctor on duty. My doctor was only called when birth was already close. The doctor on duty was rude, and everything hurt what he did, and it was humiliating.

This was the point I decided: no matter what it takes, I am not willing to undertake this again in my life.

I will not be begging for being treated as a human being not as an object, or a piece of meat to cut, and put where wanted. The time of birth is not suitable to fight for my rights. Without fight and constant struggle things could go unbearable and the price to pay high (spiritual, physical wounds). Fight also takes the focus of what should otherwise be a beautiful moment of life. The Clinic was a place where students practiced, so they entered the rooms where examinations were carried out, without any previous warning.

When my doctor finally arrived I was glad! Virág was born a bit faster and all right, although episiotomy was carried out as part of the routine.

We were not taken to a room for two more hours because we had to be under close observation. Virág was bathed and given back for feeding. I would have fed her if I was left to do so.

A nurse was putting pressure on my abdomen to „help” me „get rid of” more blood, which I was supposed to bear by hands crossed behind my back. It took quite a while, as I was not able to tolerate this very well.

After that I was taken to a room with five other beds (six mothers, six babies altogether). There was no one single moment of peace and quiet time. Somebody always coming in or going out, without knocking on the door, babies crying….

The after birth pain was very strong.

It was too hot in the room for me, and I thought it was time for taking a shower. I found a shower and another, but there was only cold water. Because of the wounds, using the bathroom without the possibility of taking a shower was more than uncomfortable. So I decided to leave the hospital. I went round the place to find my doctor, and explained what I wanted. She said it was ok with her, but I have to wait for the paediatrician, otherwise I could go without the baby.

We were let go a few hours later, for my own responsibility, and I could enjoy the peace of my home.

Our paediatrician was not surprised , that we came home so early. He said he had become a doctor, when it was natural that babies were born at home!

M. A. K.

Véletlenül kiválasztott mesék.

This post is also available in: Hungarian