Day 372. To be together (Almi’s birth)

I know that Almi’s birth was a great trial in our life, still things were happening simply and naturally on that day, just like sometimes the questions who you are, and what your job on earth is occour to you.
Morning is approaching and some strange forces emerge in Linda. Forces that will be preserved or lost for a lifetime.
Almi has started her way getting to us.
We’re staying at home and waiting. The way Ági and her helperts taught us. Just being.
I have the excitement just like when setting off on a holday. It is summer, not suffocating hot, but light and fragrant. The door of the balcony is open and I can smell the mild morning air. The flowers are already awaken, during the day they are motionless.
Everything is moving inside. In Linda’s womb a little baby has started her long journey that will end sooner than we would think.
There is no fierce struggle, only the invisible powers are doing their jobs and Linda stands her ground. I know it, I feel it. She is able to do it and so is Almi. What am I supposed to do here? Nothing. Just to be here. And wait, as I am. First for one of the midwives, then for Geréb Ági and Móni. The midwife brought joy with her, Ági concern and Móni peace. That’s how I remember.
Linda is there and then isn’t – just like Almi. Or, just like our flat. And like us too, the way we are together in this small flat. In our home. Just as if it was built for this very day. The ultimately perfect shelter. The parquette, which we lay, knee, lean on, is softwood és it can be felt becoming softer and softer as we touch it again and again.
I have never had this feeling that I do not need anything but my two hands and arms to hold with. Or my eyes to look into the distance, where all of us look: at Almi and into ourselves at the same time. I have never needed my voice so much before. Now I say something only when I have a voice not when I want to say something. And so on. We are being born.
Together with Almi.
I am sitting in a café. It is an autumn afternoon. It is two years later and as I am away from my family I can feel that this is a situation that I long for, I had always longed for. Suddenly different memories come to my mind one after the other when I had the same feeling and I can see my beloved ones around me some of whom have already left me forever.
I might be able to talk to Linda and Almi in the evening on Skype. Some more days and I am finished here. I can go home. They are waiting for me.
Waiting, just as we are. I guess it is not a question of patience but it is freedom and life itself.
R. A.
Véletlenül kiválasztott mesék.
- 1253. nap: Ne nagyon terjesszem, hogy nem fáj annyira (Lillian szülése)
- 1178. nap: Amikor az ember hátán fát vágnak (Fruzsi születése)
- 1617. nap: Már nem csak a félelem
- 928. nap: Negyedik fejezet (Jankó)
- 1360. nap: A csendes fiú (férjem születése)
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